Elon Musk Unveils Mideast Peace Plan to Rename Israel “G-71X//4” and Move the Capital to Rigel 7

Tech genius and mental maverick, Elon Musk, has made the news yet again this week with his bold Mideast peace proposal.  The first part of the plan involves changing the name of the “Earth nation of Israel” to the more appropriate “G-71X//4.”  The second and even more ambitious part of the plan is his proposal to move the capital from Jerusalem to the seventh planet of the Rigel system.
While some terraforming and hundreds of years of space travel may be involved, Musk’s biggest concern is the native inhabitants of Rigel 7, whom he has described as “hyper-intelligent beings far beyond the pale of our pathetically limited human understanding.”  Nonetheless, he is confident they will be more open to negotiation than the Palestinians have been thus far, and far more cooperative than “those fucking lunatics from Berkeley.”
President Trump, an outspoken ally of Israel, has praised the plan, throwing his full support behind Musk.  “I think Orion sounds like a great place.  I think the Jewish people are going to be very happy there.  From what I understand, it’s too deep in space to receive CNN’s broadcasts, and I think that’s a good thing.  The United States Space Force, which I created by the way, is behind Israel, I mean, G-7 Triple X, one thousand percent.”
Even Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has tentatively expressed interest in the plan, inquiring about the legal jurisdiction Rigel 7 would fall under. “The best part is,” he began, “they can’t prosecute me in space.  Hold on, let me call me attorney.”
 
The post Elon Musk Unveils Mideast Peace Plan to Rename Israel “G-71X//4” and Move the Capital to Rigel 7 appeared first on The Mideast Beast.

Read on source website...

Author: TheMideastBeast.com

The Mideast Beast (TMB) is a political satire and comedy news site that produces spoof articles about or connected to the Middle East, only for comedic and entertainment purposes. We are your Middle Eastern equal opportunity offenders. We poke at anyone and anything that we can get our mucky little paws on. Whatever you read on TMB is totally fictitious and you should not take us seriously in any way, shape, or form. Clear? Are you sure? Good. Moving on… Our goal: We always want to make you laugh but we also want you to think about the issues we write about. After all, satire and comedy are elements of education. We also aim to shine a little light into this insane region. We believe that laughter, thought, and hopefully understanding, are legitimate tools in helping to reduce extremism. Our audience: Anyone interested in the Middle East, which pretty much means everyone these days. P.S.: Because TMB can be naughty at times, articles in The Mideast Beast are not intended for persons under the age of 17. Sorry kiddies.